...But I will lose weight

Okay, here's the deal.

Steve is fat. Steve was skinny once, and then he got pretty fat, and that lasted for a while, and then he got... He just got so incredibly fat. It was awful.

It was just awful.

Now, I, Sean, have always been fat. There have been times when I was fat and handsome, and other times when I was fat a jolly, and still other times when I was barrel-chested and awesome, but all of those times, I've been a little bit fat. I have.

The difference is, mine is all genetic. Steve's is sloth.

See, Steve got skinny about a year ago. He did it by obsessively not eating and worrying about shit. It went great, he got really skinny. But then, he got happy.

He's got a cool wife, a nice kid, a good little job. In short, he got fat. He got "love gut". He let himself go. He eats like a goddam pig, snorfling down anything and everything he can get his hands on. And not only does he do no exercise, he lies about exercising.

You should meet his wife. Dark hair, dark eyes, big rack. Awesome, really, a beautiful woman. You'd think he would worry about the fact that he's a total mess. He's all, "I'm a Jewish Doctor, my wife loves me!" and yeah, he's right. But what he's forgetting is that women want to MARRY Jewish Doctors, they want to have sex with SKINNY PEOPLE.

And he is not skinny.

Oh no.

So.

We've started this blog because I just don't think Steve is gonna lose any weight, and I'm pretty sure I will. And when I get down to my target weight of 187, I will post a picture of me in my underwear. And when I do, you will like it. I'm 40 pounds away from that right now, but when I get there, we are going to ask you, the viewing public, who looks fatter.

I'm not worried.

It will be Steve.